Greetings all! This month, I am pleased to have LA as my guest.. LA is a recent VC member, and one whose wisdom and experience, I believe will help to benefit the many out there..You can reach her online via AIM on Nodecafe, and her website, for those who wish to know more of her, can be found by clicking here here.

Silver: Greetings LA, and thankyou for joining me this eve :o)

LA: Greetings and a good afternoon to you..

Silver: Ok, if you wouldn't mind, could you indulge us with a little background on yourself?

LA: Sure..Let's see I am 46 years old - A negative feeding vampire that has been awakened since I was 14..I can feed via all methods but I primarily feed Psi & Elemental / Environmental..I have been in and out of the vampire communities for many years, and have just recently renturned after a long hiatus..The VC is the organization that I found that gets it right as far as vampirism goes..

Silver: That is really a rather significant amount of time to have been awakened, and I am positive you have alot of knowledge and wisdom you can and do pass onto others..At what point in your life did you discover you were a vampire?

LA: I was a kid - basically a brat with really good connections, working at a local live music club on nights & weekends..I was always sickly, run down weak..I though it was just a constant case of mono, but an "old" vamp - probably about age 30, recognized what it was - He pricked his finger and stuck it in my mouth - I was jazzed!! Within a few hours, I had more energy that I knew what to do with..So when he explained that "some of us just need a little blood now and then", I knew that he was right..

Silver: So you are also a sanguinary feeder in the right situation then? Which, for you, is the more potent feed? Sanguinary or psi?

LA: Awakening is such a slow thing..It's not like flipping a switch & "oh now I'm a vamp"!..When I realized I was psi, I saw that the negative energy attraction had been there since early childhood..It had just been slowly increasing to the point where it had become predominant..Even feeding sang several times a week, I was still psi feeding - But didn't know to call it such.. I was forever being drawn to conflict situations, and enjoying it lol - Left uncontrolled, I'm ground zero for negative energy..

Silver: I am glad you brought up negative energy grabbing, because I wanted to delve into this topic with you a little more, anyway..Can you tell us what exactly this is, and maybe even describe a situation where one would be likely to obtain such a feed?

LA: Lol - As you know, I was at the gym this morning - No pain no gain..

Silver: Yes..And the gym would be just the place to go as well, because people are forever releasing it there anyway..

LA: But really negative energy is all about the same as positive in most cases.. Vamps block it out as not need, but for me, it is what I crave & need to keep me balanced & healthy.. I LOVE pain and conflict.. Great feed, but that does not mean that I have to be personally involved in creating those situations..

Silver: Ok, would you explain what you mean when you say you don't have to create those situations?

LA: I don't have to manipulate a situation in order to find that kind of negative energy..Hell, I live in a big city, there is GOBS of negative energy about..Just walk down the street..You have a lady screaming at her kids, the local crack dealers, the paranoids afraid they will get mugged, and hell that's in the first block..Let alone all the negative elemental & environmental found in a city..There is this REALLY scuzzy urban stream I love..I pass it on my way to work daily.. it has a couple hundred years of man-made scars on it's face, and where I cross it, it is forced through a VERY dangerous underpass full of gang graffitti.. GREAT negative elemental feed!

Silver: Ok, is there a reason why you prefer negative energy as opposed to other types of energies? The way you just described all the above, it sounds like it would feel rather dense and heavy, or even dirty..

LA: To you maybe - But to me it does just what energy should - It nourishes, it energizes..Positive energies mess me up I feel weak - lightheaded, kinda spacy.. It really bothers me.. Man give me a good negative feed and I am wired..

Silver: Wow, that sounds hard to deal with..As far as positive energy, for you..

LA: Yup - I live now in what is considered a "yuppie" neighborhood..I had real problems when I first moved here.. It was the first time I had never lived in a "war zone"..It took me a bit to find the negative underbelly, but now that I am tapped in, I'm fine.. I actually prefer to live in rough neighborhoods, and have by choice until now - But as a mom, didn't want my kid there, something that I am sure you can appreciate.

Silver: Absolutely.. Sounds almost like some remnant of nephilim blood within you :o)

LA: I wouldn't say that - To me, the Nephilim is just a good piece of fiction, kinda like the Bible..A conglomeration of stories written over many years by several..

Silver: Ok, but..If you know anything about them, they were all about the chaos feeding as well..

LA: chaos is sooo uncontrolled..

Silver: EXACTLY!!

LA: Negative, like positive, has its set parameters..There are definite boundaries that I function within..

Silver: That's very kewl :o) Hey, I understand you are an artist - can you tell us a bit about your work?

LA: My work is a representation of energy interactions between people and/or situations.. I have my own iconography as a means to the storytelling - As a means of the visual portrayal, but it is all about the energy in the situation Funny, it took me years to realize that it was what I was painting..I never set out to do that, it just happened.. I've been showing professionally for 25 years ya know..

Silver: I think I speak for everyone when I say we would love to see some of your stuff sometime.. Do you have any additional hobbies that help you become more at ease within yourself when your vampirism attempts to take a turn for the worse?

LA: Sure do..I'm a 2nd degree black belt Shotokan karate.. Negative vampires have an agression streak a mile deep when things get rough. I fall back into my training quite heavy, and smack around a heavy bag.. I also practice my own eclectic mix of dark paganism - Zen buddhism & scientific pantheism, and a good handful of whatever-the-hell-works.. The meditation training saves my ass some days, when it comes to quieting my inner nature..

Silver: Right, I understand wanting and needing to release sometimes, and I would definitely have thought martial arts would be an acceptable and controlled means of doing this.. I would like to talk to you about your beliefs - Those being buddhism - Do the teachings of buddhism help you to better cope with your vampirism?

LA: Cope with it yes - As part of controlling my wild side.. But buddhism is in not part related to vampirism - No part.. They have found in recent studies, that meditation training "re-maps" the brain a bit, if you will. And they can prove it or MRI's.. Those that have an aggressive nature have more right pre - frontal lobe activity.. Meditation stimulates the left side, and promotes a balance.. I cant change my inner nature, but I can give it a little help in dealing with the aggression through meditatation..

Silver: Of course, I am very well aware that no aspect of religion or beliefs, stem from, or are in any way related to, or cause vampirism, but I know that having a spiritual path to fall back upon, can sometimes provide calm in times of a storm within our lives, so I wondered if in some way your beliefs helped that :o) Also, I read that very article which is the one you sent to me..Really quite remarkable, isn't it? We find ways to make significant breakthroughs into our inner selves all the time, that can also help us maintain health and well - being, while also imparting calm and peace when and where it is most needed..Ok, I would like to discuss the community with you, now..What do you think is the one thing to help others, who may be as you, in having to find other ways to deal with their vampirism?

LA: The thing I believe, is that it's most important to know yourself, and often you have trouble doing, or admitting just that, learning from the experiences of others, both through sharing, and mentoring are a BIG part of learning, and accepting who and what you are.. Remember I told you I was sang at first?

Silver: Yes..

LA: I had no psi's around as mentors or role models.. I had to walk that path alone and it was VERY difficult.. With an orginization like the VC, you have such a depth of experience, and knowledge, that no one has to go it alone.. There is always someone here that can help you along that path...That too, I feel is the obligation of the older vampires in the community.. We need to mentor those coming along.. We all know what hell it was to go alone, and no one should have to go through that... That in part, is what brought me back to the community, and to specifically, the VC..

Silver: True that..I also had no one in those years..

LA: I had that need to give back to the community.. I was lucky I had a community - Granted, it was all sang, but for the first few years, it really helped.. Then when I really needed it for dealing with the psi part, I was on my own so, I know both parts.. And believe me, the mentored part is SOOO much easier..

Silver: Yes, I can see that it has been.. From being here for the few years I have been involved here, I have been very lucky to have other people's experiences and knowledge from which to draw on, and learn from..

LA: Yea, I'm still learning.. There is a pop culture.. An adapation of a buddhist..Teaching ...."The journey is the destination" - It's true ya know..

Silver: Indeed..Yanno....I have this theory that is also shared by others that are of my acquaintance, and we feel that the awakening process never stops.. It just goes on until we cease to be..

LA: Yup - Exactly, it's an ongoing thing..

Silver: How has working within the Vampire Church helped you within your own vampirism?

LA: Several ways.. It has once again, given me that sense of community that I so much need, and I am constantly learning and redefining my vampirism, even after all these years. For instance, I always thought that my elemental/ environmental feeds were secondary but ... I am learning that they are just as important.. Hell, I may even be a bit on the aescetic side of the eclectic..

Silver: Re- Defining is the very word here! Each time someone comes along who is not the stereotypical vampire, it provides us with another unexplored avenue to go down, and learn about..

LA: Exactly..

Silver: This is why I have also said that we never cease awakening.. We just continue to learn more and more as we go along :o)

LA: We all have the need and ability to keep learning..Right you are..

Silver: What do you hope to see in the future of the vampire community?

LA: Well one thing, for sure, is a lot less distrust of negative vampires..I've been fighting that battle for 20+ years.. For a VERY long time, we have all been considered "evil".. The VC is great in helping to knock down that sterotype..The other thing is corruption within the community.. For anyone that has been out there awhile, they all know too well the petty squabbling that goes on.. That really has to end in order for a community to be whole.

Silver: Yup.. I think the main reason this is, is because there are SOME out there, who are actually in it to really prey upon, and harm those in vulnerable positions..This is what I explained to you when you first came along, because I, like others, automatically assumed, that when you said "negative", that this was what you meant.. And having first hand experience with the type I just mentioned, it was therefore needful for not only myself, but the rest of this organisation to take this opoportunity and do some real studying up on it.. So you being here has been a positive bonus for us all, and for this community, because now we have another source of information to access, and another method to make use of :o) As far as the squabbling and in - fighting goes...While I agree that it SHOULD cease, while there are differing opinions and whatnot, and people who believe themselves to be more special than everyone else, we are always going to have conflict, and we also know that causing this conflict is also how some grab energies..You yourself state you enjoy a fair bit of conflict - As do others.. But there is such a major difference in the method here, between them and you...So the in - fighting will sadly, never end :o(

LA: True - But in the interest of community, we should be able to set our petty differences aside..

Silver: Yes, I fully agree..

LA: I mean, look at how different we are - Yet we are definitely on the same page..

Silver: Ahhh, how wondrous diversity is :o)

LA: We have common goals, and understandings.. And that is what is important to community, not who is more powerful and who isn't..

Silver: True, and I agree, but I think you'll find some enjoy that power, and would be loathe to set it down and take a step back, even IN the interests of the community..This is the really sad part..

LA: Yes it is very sad. And that is why those of us that really believe in community first need to keep moving that agenda forward..The power hungry succumb to the pettiness sooner or later - While the community prevails.

Silver: True that.. Ok, I have just one more question for you :o) How would you advise other people who seek help, but are too firmly rooted within the vampire myth or lifestyle?

LA: Hmmm, good one..They need to step back a bit.. If they are indeed a TRUE vampire, rather than a role player, they actually NEED the energy.. Once they understand that, then you work with them from there. It's the common language of energy need you build on..Of couse if there is no NEED, they are just a role player, and they may wish all they want, but it's not gonna happen. Though some role players do make good black swans, once they see what the community can really offer.

Silver: Well LA, I sure appreciated your time this eve, and especially your knowledge..I think you have a real gift and people in this community should be thanking their lucky stars that we have such fine teachers as yourself in which to learn from..Thanks again :o)

LA: Thank you Silver, both for your time and support..

Silver's Final Thoughts ~

After interviewing LA, I sat back and really thought about how wonderful it would be, if only the leaders of this community could somehow bring about unity..I am not convinced that it will ever totally happen, because there are still far too many out there, including many leaders, that try hard to equate real vampirism with mythical vampirism.. We have to realise that while there may be attractive aspects about mythical vampirism, we just don't fit into those boundaries, anymore than real witches fit into the Samantha or Sabrina archetype..Fantasy is fantasy, yet there are still those who go to such great lengths to continuously cross that line, and claim it is real..But I believe that is another matter entirely, one that points more towards not liking who you are, and wishing to be better than you are, instead of being happy being yourself..Perseverence is what is needed here..That, and firm guidance, alongside of truth, presented in a user - friendly manner, so that even the simplest thing doesn't seem so far out of reach..Once again, I hope you all have learned something from the interview, and I will leave you with this quote, and hope it inspires..

"Daring ideas are like chessmen moved forward. They may be beaten, but they may start a winning game"...

-Goethe

Until next month, dark blessings..

Silver~

Back to Main Page